Note: recent archaeological finds have been examined by the best scholars who attest that the following document is genuine.

Not a bad day. I think I healed a couple dozen today, or at least made them feel healed, which is what's really important. That boy whose father thought he had a demon was some case! I was baffled until I realized his father was projecting his own fears on the lad.

The disciples were acting out again, arguing which of them was the greatest. I still don't know why the Father directed me to choose those exact twelve. Hardly a more dysfunctional bunch.

Undoubtedly some will conclude that my presentation of myself and the Spirit's role in documenting my actions and teachings will be credible. I just hope that eventually they realized that there is no absolute truth--especially about me--and that the best approximation will come out of sacred dialogue, in fact, that dialogue about truth is truer than truth itself.

I guess I'm going to have to be careful with what I say because I get the impression they're going to compile my sayings and call them scripture. I certainly don't want them to do anything like that--after all, I'm only a man--but I can't dictate what they believe about me. Well, I did speak as though I believed that fire and sulfur fell from heaven on Sodom and as though I believed in the Noah story literally, and that the bush Moses encountered was really not consumed, but I only did it to make the simpler followers feel better. The more sophisticated will, of course, realize that I was kidding, and will make the required adjustments in their belief-system.

And all that about obeying me or going to a literal hell, well, that too was a bit over the top, but I expect mature thinking people to realize that I was just trying to make a point.

The idea that it will take the help of the Spirit to understand me is ludicrous. Why won't they realize that their God-given human intellect is all they need in order to comprehend me.?

I see all the signs that my end is near. It will be easy, of course, to strategize and accomplish my death, but the hard part will be giving people the impression that I was raised from the dead without actually experiencing it bodily. O the difficulties I face! I do hope I can pull it all off. I'm so depressed.

Good night, diary.

NOTE: If you don't realize it by now, everything above is a direct contradiction to what the Bible reveals about Jesus Christ. This has been offered as a satire on what some church leaders teach about Him.